Per usual, I was scrolling through Instagram when I came across my brother’s post inquiring about why certain people come into your life. It read, “How often do you think about why your friends came into your life? Was it random, by design, or maybe a little of both? Regardless of the reason, some friends you know are gonna be by your side for a while. Others, you’re not so sure. And then there’s that one friend who well, you hope someday becomes something more. But “friend” will have to do for now. And that’s okay. I guess.” I thought about this for a moment and moved on with my day, going to my next few classes, doing my homework, listening to music, and cleaning my room. I woke up the next day thinking about it still. I always know when something is relevant or specifically true to my life whether I realize it or not because the subject won’t leave my mind. I thought about it deeper. Why was this caption still in my head? I then took a minute to think about the people that have been in and out of my life. I never really had anyone that I called a best friend until I got to college and it happened to be a guy I considered “just a friend” in high school. I watched him go in and out of relationships, I watched him laugh and cry, I witnessed his talent and his witty, childlike soul take over our greetings and goodbyes, and I even fought with him several times. These weren’t just argumentative fights, these were screaming matches in the hallway and in class, the kind that makes people stop and stare. If you know anything about me, I never get that angry, especially in public. I remember my mom driving me home from school on the first day we had a yelling-in-your-face kind of fight and I was telling her all about it. I began to cry. All I could think about was the fact that he would probably never forgive me, as he is very stubborn. I just lost the only real friend that I had. After several days and class periods we shared not speaking to one another, he apologized to me. Sitting in orchestra, we were listening to a recording of a sad song we were soon to play at our next concert. Something in him felt the need to apologize. Miraculously, we looked at each other at the same time from across the room and he mouthed the words “I’m sorry” to me. Should I forgive him? My stubborn mind wanted to roll my eyes at him but my heart spoke louder. “I’m sorry too” I mouthed back to him. We ran into several of these throughout the course of our friendship and we didn’t always forgive each other. There came a time where I didn’t see him for several months. I didn’t know where he was, but I had heard rumors. Of course I didn’t believe any of them. I had a panic attack one night because I could only think the worst. I thought about him every day. Something was telling me he’d come back so I didn’t give up on him.

May 5th, 2018. I was standing in the entry way of a Mexican restaurant when I hear, “Caroline!” from across the bar. It was him. He walked toward me and my stomach dropped. He was grown. We hugged for a good 2 minutes before letting go, grabbing the attention of everyone in the lobby. I was shaking and almost in tears. Nothing else mattered in that moment. He grabbed my hand and took me outside and told me that he’s okay and he quickly summarized the shit that he went through. I showed him pictures of me at prom just the week before. He then hugged me again, holding my head into his shoulder and he said to me, “God you’re beautiful. I missed you so much. You have no idea.” My heart had never been so full. I knew God tested us for a reason. After that night, I hadn’t talked to him for several more months until September. Ever since then, we’ve been inseparable. We have a tattoo of a dot on our pinkies to symbolize our friendship. We FaceTime every night. We apologized for all the petty fights we had in high school and tell each other that we can’t stand the thought of getting mad like that again. This was true friendship to me. I’ve come to this realization that this is why he came into my life. To stay. And that’s okay, I guess.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. – 1 Corinthians 13:4–7