Hey y’all, I hope you have been well. The world has been absolutely crazy lately. Regardless of how we feel about certain issues, I think we can all agree that we as humans want to see peace and unity. That is why I’m getting up early tomorrow morning to head to the polls and cast my vote, as it is ever so important, especially right now. I’ve been trying to keep myself sane while also educating myself and coming up with my own future plans to make the world a better place. I’ve also thought a lot about tea times I’ve been wanting to write but have been too lazy to. So tonight I bring you a tea time that has been in my head for probably months now, so please enjoy. 🙂

My biggest dream since I was I-don’t-even-know-how-old was/is to be a mom. I never speak about it really since I would rather spare myself from the negative opinions of others, although I have gotten my fair share of them. Some of the very few people I’ve shared this dream of mine with have shamed me for even wanting such a thing, being so young. Others tell me I need a job first. They’re definitely not wrong and I absolutely agree, however, there is nothing wrong with wanting children in my future. After all, I never said I wanted them right now.

I continue to stay curious and teach myself things and learn every day to help not only myself, but to ensure that my future children have a mother that allows them to be nothing but themselves, free to thought, possibilities, and interests. That is something I credit my mother for when raising me. I don’t think I would’ve had such a strong mind or spirit if it weren’t for my mom. She never made me do anything I didn’t want to and always encouraged me to stay true to myself even in times of adversity. She taught me to be kind and compassionate, generous and loving, but to never let anyone take advantage of that. She taught me the importance of standing up for myself and believing in myself, even when it seemed that no one else did. I would say I’m a rather reserved human being, but those that I am comfortable with see all that doesn’t meet the eye- my silliness, my spontaneity, my deep passions for the things I care about, my vulnerabilities, and everything in between. This is the mother I want my children to have. I’ve always felt a leader in me, underneath my subtle anxiety and self-doubt. This is the mother in me. The boss. The desire to have my voice heard and valued by someone who looks up to me and shapes themselves from my words, actions, and demeanor.

As most 20 year-olds would probably never say this, I actually enjoy adulthood. Something about the stress and complexity of it excites me. I love my independence and freedom and the responsibility that comes with it. If I could have children tomorrow I’d do it, but I’m obviously not because I need a career, some time to myself, some sleep, and most importantly, someone who truly cares about me and loves all that I am to do it all with me. Having children was the one thing in life I knew I wanted for sure, probably even more so than a career quite frankly, so I’m going to make sure that it is everything I ever dreamed life would be for them when that time comes. But for now I’ll keep them in my sweet dreams and pray that it all happens for me so long as I work hard and keep my eye on the creator of life Himself, my God. I hope wonderful things for each one of you and until the next tea time (which is hopefully very soon since I have another one in mind), xoxo, C.

“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.” ~ Psalm 127:3