Month: January 2019

This is going to be a short teatime (sorry) but I wanted to write about something that’s been on my mind quite a lot lately. For a couple months now I’ve been thinking on and off simply about the joys of being a woman. I love the empowerment I find from painting my nails and styling my hair whatever way I please. I love how women are strong enough to hold down the house while working their asses off. I feel unstoppable. But you know what makes me feel the most empowered? Not subjecting myself to a group. More specifically, feminists.

The fact that women go all day in heels (ladies you know what I’m talking about… ouch) at work and make the same amount of money as some men motivates me. The fact that I’m up off my ass getting work done while I’m on my period, a feeling men will never understand, leaves me feeling all the more empowered. Only I, a female have the knowledge of this. I love that I can accessorize in so many different ways and change my look so drastically if I wanted to, but still wear my heart on my sleeve. I love that I get to hold my child first for 9 months before anyone can. It makes it all more special. I love that I can be emotional without being stereotyped as “weak” but I am also looked upon as strong. I love that I can speak my mind and my truth and throw punches unlimitedly without receiving them in return by a man, as long as the man has some moral sense instilled in him. Ah yes, that’s another one. The power to influence my future children because “I am your mother, that’s why.”

I believe the key to being successful and powerful is proving yourself as an individual, not as a woman. I didn’t make it to where I am now because I am a woman, I made it here and I just so happen to be a woman. And I could never thank God enough.

“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” ~ Proverbs 31:25

Where did December go? I always felt like December went by so slow in the past, but this past December went by so fast. And now, finally, it’s 2019.

I find a lot of peace in knowing that I have control over my life and how I choose to spend my time and channel my emotions, especially in this new year. Towards the end of 2018, I began to feel myself letting my anxiety and past depression get to my head. Occasionally it haunts me. There were some days where it would speak to me loud and clear and other days where I’d blatantly ignore it. Just yesterday, I wasn’t feeling so well emotionally but I decided to leave that crap for 2018, because I want to make 2019 my year. I feel that many people who worked hard in the previous year make their new years resolution to take a breather, but for me, my hard work of last year inspires me to compete with myself and make 2019 even bigger. I want to work even harder and stay on my grind and not stop. I’ve noticed that when I do stop, that’s when all the negativity comes back to me because I’m spending a little too much time with myself. I don’t want a “new me” this year. I want a better version of the same person I’ve been. Normally, I don’t believe that new years resolutions work, but I plan to seriously work on 3 main things:

1. Workout more. I want to be serious about having a routine workout schedule and sticking to it, no matter how tired or swamped I am with work. When I use to work out for a couple weeks last year, I noticed a huge difference in my mental state. I was ready to tackle my homework and read my textbooks, and I noticed my grades going up. I also felt good physically. Staying fit both mentally and physically are super important. I used to not think so, but once you start that grind, it almost becomes addicting. It’s the best.
2. My relationship with God. If you aren’t religious by any means, I’d suggest skipping past this part. Growing up, my family and I went to church most Sundays. Since my parents’ divorce, I hadn’t found a church I was comfortable in, let alone not going. Because of this, my relationship with God strayed and I’ve lost touch with just how glorious He is and I’m yet to come to know the strength of His love all over again. I’ve been trying to read my devotionals and pray a lot more and really just spend time with God here and there. I have a lot to thank Him for, as He has blessed me in so many different ways.
3. Study more. Last semester, I’ll admit I barely studied, but still managed to pass with fairly good grades. No, they aren’t what I wanted necessarily, but I still made it. I often came up with excuses for myself to not study. I was always “too tired” or I “already work too hard” or I’d tell myself I needed “me time” but I knew that I “needed” this “me time” constantly. I’m going to try to work out a schedule for myself to stay on so that “me time” won’t be so frequent, and I can pass this next semester with grades I’m super happy with. I’m not excited for the classes I’m taking, but I’m excited to learn something and get them out of the way so that I can enjoy my summer and/or hopefully take on yet another amazing adventure like I did last summer.

Although I could write about everything I’m excited for for this new year, I truly feel that I’m starting this year off ready and better than ever. I also hope to find a job by the end of the year, check skydiving off my bucket list finally, and publish my book that is currently in the works. I hope you all have some goals set for yourselves too but most importantly, I hope you complete them. You can choose your path this year. Create your life. 2019, I’m ready for you.

“Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.” ~ Philippians 1:6