I want to tell you all about something that’s been on mind lately. For the past couple years or so, I’ve debated whether I wanted to speak about something very personal to me. It’s a very dark part of my past but today I came to the very real conclusion that I’m in the place in my life where I’m ready to speak my truth. I feared vocalizing my truth because I feared retaliation or being looked at differently by those I love. But in the end, what am I really afraid of? Well, for starters, I’m afraid of people in costumes and clowns, and centipedes. Spiders are pretty bad too. I was never afraid of the dark itself but I did fear what was in it. But words? That’s silly. I spent so much time worrying over everyone’s reactions that I wasted the time I should’ve been spending owning my story. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without this truth.

I found out just two days ago that the third paper I have to write for my writing class is a personal narrative about something that happened to me that changed my opinion or view on a certain topic. I volunteered to have my paper read, reviewed, and pretty much roasted by the class in what we call a “workshop”. I knew immediately what I wanted to write about but questioned my decision several times. How was it that I was dying to speak my truth all these years but when I had the chance I backed away? Was what holding me back? I tried to think of other incidences in my life that changed me. None came to mind, none that I could write a detailed, truthful, elaborate paper on. I could write about my parents’ divorce but I felt that that’s too ordinary. I needed something that made me unique but that I could relate to at least one person who has been in the same or similar situation. My original topic was it. It was perfect.

Today after class, I walked up to my professor and reluctantly asked him for his opinion of my topic. “Would you say that my story of getting cyber-stalked/harassed is a good topic to write about?” I asked him. I was trembling inside. I never made it known to any authoritative figure that this happened to me besides the police and my parents. I wanted to cave in. I had barely even made it known to my friends let alone a teacher. I felt as though I invaded my own privacy. “Yeah… yeah I think that would be a good one. It falls into the category of ‘Me Too'” he replied. I never considered my situation a #MeToo case but I guess it was, in a way. Oh my God. I am one of those women. I am the woman in the news. I thanked him for his approval and left the classroom. I was shaking all the way out and for the first time after talking about it out loud, I didn’t want to cry. Even though I was shaking, no tears even came up into my eyes. That was it. That was when I knew that now is my time.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. – John 14:27